We all have friends, some are really very close to us, some are just friends and the others are friendly acquaintances. Imagine the besties leaving us and going away, it would break our hearts and wrench our souls, wouldn’t it? However, sometimes we do lose our best friends, for reasons that cannot be explained. It is exactly at this time that we need other besties around to console and calm us, so that the hurt and pain goes away. It is important that you bid adieu to people who don’t serve your best interests, or maybe don’t reciprocate as much as you do to them. Carrying negative people around would only mar your reputation and others would lose trust in you as well. However, it is understood that bidding goodbye is the toughest thing to do, especially when the one you called BFF is the one you have to let go off.
Look at the big picture:
In the long run you would look back at this time and laugh it off, because things actually would turn out for your best. When you do throw in the towel and cut all ties, there are loose knots which would wind up elsewhere, maybe bringing in better people, company that you so longed to be with and learn from. Yes, it isn’t easy saying bye to the one you spent most of your growing years with, and you should acknowledge that. Here is how;
1. Understand that there are issues with your bestie which cannot be solved. You could pen words down to ease the burden and pain, but ensure you do so with total honesty and without being biased. Draw a list of pros and cons to know of the good and bad, and then look at the bad and tell yourself that you don’t need it anymore. It would be hurtful, because the pros might outweigh the cons, but in the end this is the first step that would take you ahead. There may have been patterns that kept repeating it, which is why you have decided to end it all. Making an attempt to fix it wouldn’t be of any use now, too much of water has flown under the bridge.
2. Gradual increase of distance, sometimes not even physical too is an indication that you need to move on. Such an act would keep you safe from unhealthy behavioral patterns, since most that are heartbroken look at intoxication for an answer, which isn’t the right thing to do.
3. If you notice that your bestie is forcing you into being romantically inclined with him or her, talk it out and if things still don’t change, you then need to say goodbye. It is painful to break up over such matters, but you are being honest and are sparing both of you of the pains that would follow, just incase things don’t work out. Being friends is one thing, being lovers is another; the two shouldn’t and will never gel.
See More: How To Save Your Friendship
It is hard for the few days since the separation would come as a shock to the two of you, but that doesn’t man you sit and wallow in self-pity. Go out there and socialize, meet people and join a club if need be, but keep yourself busy. There is no need to be angry with you for having gone through such an ordeal, because life teaches us lessons in many ways.
People are individuals, and the good, bad and ugly happens because of situations, and not because it is someone’s character. Don’t waste your time crying over someone who couldn’t respect and value you, or was manipulating you, because true friends wouldn’t do that.
See More: Respect Your Friend