It not only is tough to hold back and not love someone you fancy, but managing this phase altogether can make you go mad. It is but understood that one in three would be victims of unrequited love, as a receiver or a romantic fool. Sometimes, even if the person is an ex and we know that there is no hope of gaining their affection on a romantic note back, we still would fight hope against hope to make it happen. In the end, we only end hurting ourselves and no one else, hence ensure that you do the following to steer clear being a victim of unrequited love
1. Slowly but surely stop staying in touch with the person, the man or woman for whom your affections runs wild. Yes, it would be odd in the beginning, but overtime you would manage and start focusing on other things in life. Sometimes you have to flatly resist talking to the person or communicating with them, it would make things sour, but you have got to do it with reason and tact, so that you don’t get blamed in the end
2. Reduce the calls, mails, whatsapp texts et al, and stop responding to what they say online or otherwise. This would help distance yourself from him or her, and you would then start seeing above what they feel for you or you for them.
If they ask you to come and meet them alone or in private, decline with suitable reasons. If they work in the same office and still make such requests, try shifting your work times, your location or speak to the HR (not complain) for a better alternative. You could also tell them that you have had a big day and you need some time to yourself. This would send out clear signals and they would not ask you anymore.
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3. Go home and make a list of issues you think deter you from loving them. this would be cement that would block all cracks and crevices which allows feelings from both ends or one end to flow. Even if they try to convince you on changing, and you know it is possible, condition your mind to think otherwise about the person. Let emotional blackmailing not take over you, or else you are doomed to be his or her lover
4. Explain to them why this relationship isn’t meant to be, start by telling them how awkward you feel since you look at them just as a friend and nothing more. Then bring on to them the career talk, schedule of daily life, conflicts of your own, whining and cribbing will scare them away one too many times.
5. Make up or tell them about a horrible secretive past of yours. In most cases no one wants to have such partners, but this could be a disadvantage for you since they may leak the rumor to public ears and your reputation could take a beating.
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Time Wounds All Heals:
A famous sitcom once showed unrequited love going bad, and in a humorous way. However that is television and not the real world. Ever you find yourself being attracted to the stalking unrequited lover, remind yourself of how superior you are over them. Remember their flaws and drawbacks and ensure that you don’t pick that phone to act all mushy.
If need be, cut all connections with them and don’t even acknowledge their presence when they come in front of you. This would send out a strong message, one that even the most foolish man or woman would get in the first instance.
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