They say a single word of hate can create ripples, and sometimes fatally breaking bonds too. Trust is what acts like glue, for any relationship to sustain itself. Friends are important to have around, for no man can live as an island, says an old adage. However, when a china bowl breaks, no amount of glue can hide the cracks, the same way, when trust is broken, it takes a lot of time to gain the person’s love and confidence back. With that being said, friendship can still be revived, maybe for the best. And today we would like to tell you how to go about bringing back that love and care, with your best friend. Remember, we live in a real world and hence don’t expect overnight miracles, be positive and be patient, and leave the rest to time, because “time wounds all heels”…. Ally McBeal!!
Listen, observe and then apply:
The first thing you should do with a calm mind is to understand why the fight happened. This step is important to reflect on, for it would tell you whether an apology from your end for the cause is necessary or not. It sure is pointless apologizing for an act you didn’t do, but human psychology be damned, an apology wouldn’t make you low or small, even if you weren’t wrong. An apology given helps calm the situation, so talks on revival can begin. However, having said that, don’t fall and beg or plead, with love sans ego, make the first move and apologize, give it some time and then go to the next step.
The next step would be to understand why the fight happened? What were the underlying circumstances? Why did he or she snap? Is everything in their personal life okay? Are they having issues and concerns, grave and those that cannot be spoken of easily? Is someone at home unwell? Are they in financial trouble? Did you say or do something unintentionally which has sparked the fire? When talking things out with him or her, resist the blame game and be calm while listening to them. Sometimes they may not want to answer or talk at all, even for days at end, give them their space and don’t make it public. Time will come when he or she would calm down and realize how much they miss you; true friends drop their egos and hug once more.
Once in a while (and we mean once in a while, so don’t bombard them) drop them a text message, short and sweet. A hello from your end, telling them how much you miss them, but don’t overdo it and don’t use too many flowery words and phrases, you would then miss the point. Let them know you would like to meet them just once and sort things out, an open discussion maybe.
Think from their point of view:
Sometimes we need to walk a mile in their shoes before judging or throwing opinions on them. Perspectives are different from one to the next; hence understanding the other is important. There could be some recent event which has twisted their world, and hence the repercussions now show on your friendship with them. While talking to them and finding out what made the bond break, be sensitive and don’t push for answers. Don’t manipulate, don’t become a friend with benefits, this would just throw them off guard and your chances of having him or her as a friend once again would be ruined.
Learn from the past, don’t dwell on it. And when the two of you in time would come back again as BFF’s, don’t make the same mistakes again!!
Give them Time and be Patient:
You may be ready to rekindle your relationship, don’t pressure your friend into starting things immediately. You both need to be equally interested and invested in reviving the relationship. Once you’ve communicated, just wait for them to think about it and decide. Just because you’re ready, doesn’t mean your friend is equally ready. If you’re lucky, your relationship will resume without knowing where you had paused.
Whatever is the issue now, every relationship has fond and happy memories. Try to recall these positive and enjoyable memories and cherish them. Talk about moments that will make you laugh. This act, not rekindles happy moments, but also helps mend broken bridges.
See More: How To Let Go Of A Bad Friendship
Mending a relationship requires a lot of time and patience. Restoring a broken relationship doesn’t happen quickly and easily. Remember to self-reflection also goes a long way in restoring relationships and at the same time; don’t blame yourself if the relationship is not fixed. Friendship is a course to run for both of you, not just one. It takes two to tango. Give it time, be patient and above all put in your effort and you’ll see results.